I LIVE!

Really I do. Just been so 'durn' busy, not sure when I'll have time to blog. I miss it a little but life goes on. I do appreciate however, those who occasionally stop by and wonder where the hell I am. Life has been pretty good, with once recent psycho exception. But I'm not touching that one here :)

Otherwise, how have y'all been? I have not been reading much either as I recently dicovered with TLR. Guess I need to jump on the ball a little more.

Birthday - I Live!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

2 Months Almost

It's been almost 2 months? wow. Guess I have been busy. I'm not quite done yet however. I have been recently challenged with why I blog and I have been thinking about it. Not too mention being just too damn busy. Oh well, more thinking to go :)

Flirting with the Future

...to coin a phrase. I googled the phrase and although people have used it in titles and the like, I am officially coining it as of today to fit with my definition.

"Flirting with the Future" means thinking of, fantasizing about, hypothetically dreaming of future possibilities with the person you are dating when it is entirely too early for those thoughts. Thinking of what it would be like to live together, buy a house, wake up next to him/her everyday, share family time, play with his/her kids, have him/her play with your own kids, etc...

I think everyone does this from time to time, even the first minute upon meeting someone sometimes. But most people will immediately dismiss it - just a fantasy. But what about when you don't dismiss it? What about if you really can see it? Like when it seems you are viewing a window through time - you are looking into the future, a possible future even though your feet are still on the dirt. Head's in the clouds but body is still grounded.

Too soon too tell but the future looks nice... and I enjoy flirting.
=D

~

Chemistry was crazy from the get-go, neither one of us knew why

Easter

oh... ummm... yea... Happy 'BELATED' Easter.
I thought I posted this but guess I did not.

We spent Easter at my sister's house. The folks asked the Easter Bunny to hide some eggs around the outside of the house and the girls had loads of fun finding them. And the weather was fantastic! We had a great filling dinner and I even got a nap ;P

sheesh - I used to have so much more time to blog. I barely post and rarely read others anymore. I miss it but just been too busy. Blame it on the "girlfriend". Yup that's right - I slowed down and I'm just dating one person right now. Not sure exactly how it happened. I wasn't planning on that for at least another month. Funny thing about this lady is that I was expecting no attraction (beyond physical I mean - she's very pretty). Met her online of course, and from her profile, I thought she would be a little too conservative. She's Catholic for god's sake! But turns out she is way cool, very relaxed, very spiritual, not the normal Catholic at all. Soooo, been a little busy lately. More to come later perhaps????

Little Robin Redbreast

Little Robin Redbreast stood in the street, Car came racing, Robin's wings did beat, Dipping down she glided, teasing as she flied nearer, Up a puff of feathers went, in the rearview mirror. ~ Ailyn Zel 4-4-2006

As I was driving to work this morning, a little robin stood in the street. As I approached it saw me and began to fly away. First it flew up and briefly to the left. Then it flew down and to the right in a beautiful arc as most birds do. I am always amazed at their speed, how they can zoom so close to a car and get away. It's almost like they are playing "chicken" and running across a train track as a train comes barreling down. Well... this time it didn't work. I heard a small thud and looked out the rearview mirror. What did I see but a little red bird, rolling in the street and a puff of feathers exploding in the air.

Yes I was sad, not intending to kill the bird... but I must admit I chuckled seeing the puff of feathers. I thought that only happened in movies?

Expo-holic

I've become an Expo-holic. I love busy weekends with the girls and I love going to Expo's. This past Saturday was the Big Y, Yea Baby Expo. I took the kids and we had a good time. Saw a magician, met Courtney, Steve, and Jeff from 95.7 Kiss FM (Steve read a story), shook hands with an Armadillo, Shark and a Dog (people in costumes), got a free plant, and got to play in the big jumpy air thingies. All in all, a good time.

So, anyone else love expo's like me?

NEW Brokeback Inspired Movies

Inspired by the success of Brokeback Mountain, two newly remade movies are about to hit theatres everywhere! Check out the sneak peeks:

Brokeback to the Future

The Fast and The Curious

Birthday Weekend

Bug's birthday party this past Saturday is finally over! Can't believe the stress in preparing for such a small thing. I've had less stress putting together conferences for hundreds of people (previous career). Bug's party was a fairy-tale theme and most of the girls wore princess and/or fairy outfits. One dressed as Little Red Rdiging Hood and her sister dressed as Rapunzel (with a very long braid of hair). The girls (and one rambunctious boy that Bug has a crush on) decorated magic wands and wizard hats (the wands were foot long wooden dowels with wooden star shapes glued on the top and spray-painted silver; the hats were metallic-colored birthday hats). We played Frog, Frog, Fairy (like duck, duck, goose), Wizard Says (like Simon Says), ate a beautiful castle cake, opened presents, and played more games. A prepared all of the food (she's so awesome!) and L of B&L and another friend helped with the activities as well as entertain with little mini-activities while I cleaned up or prepared for something else. It was soooo much fun, but once may be enough. Next year, Bug can go back to Chuck E. Cheese!
:)

Sunday we went to my folks place and had a joint celebration for Bug and my brother (whose actual birthday was that day). Monday night, A and I were invited to Bug's grandma's house (S's mom) for dinner. It was mostly pleasant and S's boyfriend wasn't there (yay!). So all in all, a very good birthday weekend. I can't believe my little girl is 6! And my good college buddy TLR has yet to meet her. What's up with that? Yo TLR, time to stop by the house.


Oh yea, and we played Pin-the-Tail on the Unicorn at the party (A made it!).

Gift List

Bug's birthday party is on Saturday and I'm almost ready. But now I have to figure out what to get her for a gift. A friend sent me this list of HOT, hard to find gifts.

Happy Birthday Lotus!

Busy Weekend

I love a busy weekend, and this one sure was. Friday night was spent at the Brickyard in Hartford - nice place. I have not been out dancing since I was an undergrad at UConn - we are talking over a decade here folks. My friend Cheryl from MySpace invited me along for a post-birthday celebration (her and her friends never made it out back in October/November? - lol). What started out as 3 people plus a handful of others meeting us ended with just us two as everyone else backed out at the last moment (now just relax with those thoughts - we're just friends). I must admit I was a bit disappointed. I was planning on hanging out and watching the ladies dance, not participate. But what could I do? I'm there to celebrate Cheryl's birthday, I had to go out on the floor... thank god it was crowded. I even went out without drinking first! And you know what? It felt GOOD! I loved it! My right-knee practically gave out during the third song, but we ended up staying on the floor for at least an hour. In fact, she gave out before I did (sorry for the tease Cheryl). Man that was enjoyable. I felt a little old considering the age of the crowd but it felt great nonetheless. I definitely think I may be doing that again. Hmmm, wonder what other clubs I could try?

Sunday night I went to NYC to visit a friend. First time I took the train to NYC but it was fun. My two hour drive to Stamford to get the train took 90 min (oops - guess I was driving to fast) and the train to Grand Central Station took about 45 min. I haven't been to NYC since I was in high school. We went to a PR event for a newer Japanese restaurant and lounge named Sushi Twist or Twist (not positive on the exact name). That was pretty cool, my first PR event (lol). Luckily, I knew the PR person (my friend Q). While there, I met some interesting (as well as a couple of strange) people: the CEO of a small film (as in movies) distribution company (he was awesome by the way - great guy), a couple of guys from an anime company (I missed the name but they distributed Kiki's Delivery Service), a vodka distributor (woohoo!), an actress (well - she said she was but I think she is more trying to break into it), a director/producer, a novelist (wish I could remember the book he just wrote - I'll get back to you), as well as a bunch of other interesting people (I'll get back to you with more specifics after I look through the "grab" bag). I wish I thought about it sooner, I could have invited some of my NYC blog buddies to meet there. Maybe next time. In the meantime, if you are in NYC and on Madison Ave, stop by 66 Madison Ave - Sushi Twist or Twist (not sure of the exact name. Great place, great atmosphere, nice people.

Saturday (I know, out of order) was spent shopping for Bug's party (coming up on Saturday), napping (for most of the day), meeting Bug at her friend's birthday party (it was S's weekend), then out for coffee and a movie. Now I know why I am tired.

~

Dr. Shu ROX!

Dr. Shu is the best dentist ever. Seriously, I have never had a better dentist experience - I just have to promote this guy. If you are in the South Windsor, CT area he is the dentist to see. His office is located on 1169 Ellington Rd - 860-289-4955.

He is friendly and very professional as is his staff. He takes his time and you never feel like you are being rushed. He explains everything he is doing and takes an extensive amount of notes for his files as well as complete x-rays (this may be normal, but I have never gotten a whole set before (like 18?)). I learned more about dentistry during my first visit than I have ever known. Of course I still don't floss - just can't do it. Doesn't work for me.

I had to get 3 fillings yesterday and I barely felt the novacaine shot. Of course when it wore off later that night, I was quite sore and could not eat for hours. Could barely open my mouth, still a little sore today. But that's normal.

So anyways, props to Dr. Shu.

Lucky 7s

I've been tagged by Jon and am finally getting around to it. I had trouble choosing 7, so the top ones are the ones I'm really into at this moment.

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

1. Crossfade - Cold (the faster remix version)

2. Fall Out Boy - Dance Dance (what's up with his name?)


3. James Blunt - You're Beautiful (i so know how he feels)


4. Ne-yo - So Sick (i love singing this one - such fun, but his new song sux!)


5. Beyonce - Check on it (oh yea, get my freak on baby - my inner slut comes out)

6. Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten (decent lyrics, upbeat)


7. Rihanna - SOS (i couldn't think of anything else, and it's not that bad)


I'm not going to tag 7 people though, just one - TLR. His musical taste is eclectic and I would like to see his current list.

Being A Mother

(My sister sent me this. Even though it's one of those email chains, I really liked it. And since I refuse to forward those email chains along, I instead post some of the ones that affect me.)

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, "I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you." The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. "What's wrong, are you well," she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. "I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you," I responded. "Just the two of us." She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very much." That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. "I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting." We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said. "Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded. During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed. "How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son." At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I LOVE YOU" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time."

Kid-Fun Weekend

I am exhausted!!!! With the exception of the very last item on the list, it was a kid-filled fun weekend. Friday night A joined the girls and I and we went to Chuck E Cheese to play games and have fun (by the way, they have a decent salad bar - surprise I know, but it's true; I went back at least twice). I discovered that Bug can play one of the racing video games and does a pretty good job! Who would have thought? Apparently A showed her how to play and she quickly took to it. When I went to play with her (in the past she would sit on my lap and hold on), she took over the steering wheel, much to my surprise, and I became the passenger.

Saturday morning the girls and I woke up bright and early and we went to an expo at Mountainside (some place) in Wallingford to look at different summer camps. On the way, the girls watched movies in the car on my portable player. The silly but yet almost pleasant songs from the Last Unicorn rang very loudly in my ears. The expo was put on by Kidtivity, who I think I have talked about in the past. The week before, we went to see Disney's Monster's on Ice in Mass after winning tickets from Kidtivity. At the Expo, the girls nabbed some candy as I checked out the different camps. I don't think either of them is quite ready yet, but I love going to expos. While there, I also got them registered for the state's Amber Alert system and got ID cards for them.

Then we met up with grandma and grandpa Zel and went to the playground at Bug's school. It was beautiful out. We even got to take a walk thru the woods. Then our next door neighbor showed up and Bug chased after him calling his name trying to get his attention. She has such a crush. Grandpa tried to explain to her that the boys should be chasing her not the other way around (lol). Don't worry grandpa, that will happen a lot sooner than any of us will want.

That night we went to my sister's (Auntie R) for dinner and to play with my nephew JJ (or as Bean would say, "he's my cousin"). My brother and his girlfriend were also there. We had a good time running around the house and visiting. Bug and Bean helped to give JJ a bath and Auntie R says that Bug surprised the heck out of her by singing a beautiful lullaby to JJ as he was being put to bed. Bug just made it up! The girls eventually fell asleep while watching a movie and I had to carry them into and then out of the car. It was really cool to see Auntie R's hub stare at my girls as they were sleeping, gazing at them with a serene look of love in his eyes. It's nice to know I'm not the only male that can love a child like that. I think he may end up being a great dad.

Sunday we met up with L of B&L and her girls and went to a Maple Sugar Festival. It rained most of the time and we were cold and wet, but the sugar was sweet. The girls had a pretty good time and they got to play with L's kids for a few hours before we left. To end the night, I met up with S and had a pretty good conversation (all things considered). We did the normal parent talking about the girls and upcoming events. We discussed Bug's upcoming birthday party and parties she was invited to. We discussed some financial stuff. Then we spoke of S's bfriend. I stressed again my concerns and worries and fears. I asked point-blank questions about what he was doing for help and what has happened to him in the past (criminal stuff). She answered more that I thought she would. I had already done an investigation so it was nice to see it confirmed. It was nice that she already knew about it as well. I won't go into more detail except to say it went pretty well (if you really want to know more, contact me via email or IM).

I think I need a vacation - lol.

Help/Advice/Discussion

I wasn't going to post this for awhile, but I think I need some help/advice/discussion? S is in love with a man who is a crack addict. He is currently in rehab (started recently?) but has been thru rehab in the past. He has lied to her as well as stolen from her in the way of emptying her bank account. But she is in love with him, believes in him, and wants to support him and help him through this. Her mom has kicked her out of the house because S is irresponsible and acts like a teenager with attitude. she does nothing around the house (isn't it nice to get this kind of vindication directly from the mother?). S has just aquired an apartment and some-what moved in this weekend and guess what, her boyfriend stayed over. I'm not happy with that at all. I originally said I wouldn't do anything as long as he wouldn't be living with her, but now it looks that way. The girls say that he lives with mommy. So I'm unsure of what to do/how to proceed. I do not think I have enough proof and grounds to go to court or anything like that but I am not sure. I am starting to do some research and thought I would ask some opinion. So if you have anything to say, me ears are wide open.

talk to me

Tagged by Ava

Tagged by Ava - thanxx darlin'

Four Jobs I've Had: Network Administrator; Operations Supervisor; Disk Jockey; Lawn Mower Boy

Four Movies I Can Watch Repeatedly: Ghostbusters; Too Wong Foo; Shrek; Hackers

Places I've Lived: Arlington, TX; Kingston, RI; Waterbury, CT; South Windsor, CT

Four TV Shows I Love: (these are all over now, nothing new for me - don't watch TV much) Sex and the City; Firefly; Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Angel

Four Places I've Vacationed: Glasgow, Scotland; London, England (both were part of a conference); Orlando, Florida; Maine (former in-laws)

Four Sites I Visit Daily: My Space (current addiction I admit it); 2BIG4myHeaD (little bit of vanity I guess); Yahoo email; Google (lol)

Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now: home in bed sleeping; Arizona visiting; Texas visiting; New Zealand (never been there)

Four tags: I'll hit my newer blog buddies Suzanne; Gretae; James; MeToDay

'Nother Sick Weekend

I woke up Saturday morning to Bean coughing and crying, feeling sick, weak and groggy. I took her temperature and immediately called my sister. It has been 24 hours and her fever keeps coming back as soon as the Acetametaphin wears off. My sister is working today and suggests giving Bean a check-up and strep test. I happily accept and we are on our way, but not before many fits of crying and whining and "I don't wanna go doctor!" "But honey, the doctor is Auntie R. We'll get to see where Auntie R works. It'll be fun." "No! No wanna go doctor." Of course, I take her anyway.

As I strap her and he sister in the car, the crying continues but I manage to get Bean to calm down enough to talk to her. "Why don't you want to go honey, why?" "I don't wanna go doctor." "Yes but why. Why don't you want to go." "Too scary." "Ok hun, that's great. You are scared. But what makes it scary? It's not a regular doctor, it's Auntie R and you know her." "Too scary." Then Bug jumps into the conversation. "I think I know why she is scared. She doesn't want to get a shot." Ooooooooooooooh! Bug, ever the intelligent and compassionate one, always looking out for others. If she wasn't my daughter, she'd probably become the next Mother Theresa. "Thanxx Bug, maybe you are right. Bean, you are not going to get a shot. Let me tell you what will happen. And we will even let Auntie R do it to daddy first. First she will look in your ears and say 'hmmm, what cute little ears you have, but this one is a little waxy. Make sure to tell daddy to clean your ears.' Then she will look in your eyes, 'Oh what pretty eyes you have Bean'. Then she will look in your mouth, 'open wide Bean and say Ahhhhh. Look at al those teeth and such a cute smile.'" Auntie R worked on me first, then Bug, then Bean and it all went exactly as I predicted. (By the way, Bean is approx 36 lbs and 40 inches tall)

Auntie R performed a strep test on Bean, which she of course did not like in the slightest. And 10 minutes later, the results were back. Woah! Since when do they get results back that fast? That was so cool! The tests were negative, but Auntie R decided to proceed as if Bean had strep since she showed all of the symptoms, swollen tonsils and big white patches in the back of her throat. Luckily, Auntie R had Amoxocilin samples on hand so I didn't have to spend any money; gotta love that. After getting home with my brave little girls, A reminded me that S had strep the week before and she had the type that shows up negative on the normal, quick test. So it looks like Bean got it from her mom. Poor Bean, not only does she have strep, but she had a cold all weekend as well. She was miserable and spent most of the time cuddled up with daddy watching movies. No new reviews from me though, all old classic Disney and kid movies. And I slept through most of them.
:)

Nabbed Pix

I stole this from Gretae's MySpace page. I just thought it was too cool! Reminds me of D&D.

Movie Review

Movie, movies, movies. I love movies! Rentals, Netflix, theater, downloads, new releases, cult classics, etc... And when I am home sick, that's all I want to do. Cuddle up in my king-size bed with my pillows and a good movie or 5.

Brokeback Mountain - Actually, I went to see this in the theater a week or so before I got sick. It is an excellent movie with great acting. I found the first love scene a little surprising. I knew what to expect of course, just not how it was portrayed. It was perfect, just not expected - lol. Loved it and must see, if you are not homophobic. If you are, wait for the rental. No one at the theater will want to hear your comments and/or sighs of disgust.
Underworld: Evolution - Snow weekend, just before the girls got sick, I went to see this with my brother. Do you like vampire movies? Do you like werewolf movies? Do you like vampire and werewolf movies? This movie had horrible reviews but my brother and I really liked it. Even paid money to see it and found it worth it (believe it or not). We were the only ones in our whole family to like the first one though. Excellent truck-vampire fight scene. You will probably hate it :)

Princess Diaries - Watched on DVD with the family. The girls fell asleep watching it being too tired from throwing up and dry-heaving all day long (yuck!). Bug on the chair behind me, Bean curled up next to me lying on the floor fighting her weariness all she could just to stay awake. I hate when the girls are sick but I adore the increased cuddles. The movie was excellent. Fantastic family movie. Can't wait to see the second one now.

Corpse Bride - Watched on DVD with the family. It may be a little scary for kids, but Bug liked it. Bean sat on my lap most of the time and I assured her it was ok and that it was not real. Dead people! Probably should not have let her see this one, but she made out ok. Good film. Fantastic animatronics. That's right, they were small mechanical puppets, not clay or computer graphics - astonishing. Too much damn singing though. Wish Burton would drop that.

Day of the Dead 2: Contagium - On DVD. When I am home sick in bed, give me movies! Especially horror movies... but not this one. This one sucked. But I was on a Netflix zombie kick back in October and rented tons of them. Have not even seen them all yet. Trust me though, skip this one.

28 Days Later - On DVD. I loved this movie. I originally saw it/downloaded a near-perfect DVD copy (screener) back when it was still in the theatre. English movie (I've discovered that I prefer english sci-fi and horror movies (especially if the main characters are American, which they are not in this one)). Some people did not like it, but what is scarier than zombies that move as fast as humans!

The Matador - Recently saw this in the theater. First 20 minutes are good but then it gets rather slow. For the rest of the movie, I was waiting for something, anything to happen. Very disappointing.

Transporter - DVD Loved it! Good action flick with the actor from Snatch (English guy, look him up). Excellent and enjoyable.

Transporter 2 - Ughh, disappointing. People raved over this one and I thought it kinda sucked. Fight scenes were not as good as the first, the main actor seriously needed a shave through the whole movie (looked stupid!), and the stunts were wholly unbelievable! Yes I know, some stunts from the first were not believable either but being able to jump a car and force control an upside spin in order to just graze a hanging hook to pull off the bomb attached to the underside of the car???? Give me a f'in break! But the fem bad ass in the movie was... well, bad azz!!!

So, what did you think?

New Blog Buddies

This post is dedicated to a few new blog buddies. Three of them are new to blogging in general and all four of them, I know or have met in real life. Check out their blogs, especially the new bloggers. There's nothing like getting comments on what you have posted and knowing that there are people out there interested in what you have to say.

Gretae - Self-proclaimed eccentric, bohemian, single-mom who I recently had the pleasure of meeting in real life. She's cool, she's wacky, I think she may have a lot to say and I think it will all be worth reading.

James - Old friend, former gaming buddy and ex-boss from Texas. If it wasn't for him, I probably would not have risen as fast as I have in the computer field. Buzz, 5'ConcLatina, and Lotus all know him as well.

MeToday - Practically family through my best-friend, beautiful writer and new blogger. Lots to type, still waiting on some of her hysterically true stories I've already read.

Suzanne - Very old friend from my old neighborhood in Waterbury, noticed my blog alias from a comment I left on Hilary's blog, then saw my pix on MySpace and figured out who I was - especially when I mentioned my real name in a recent post. Good investigating Suzanne!

So check 'em out and give them some love. Tell'em I sent ya!

:P

Took the girls to the Channel 3 Kid's Expo last Saturday (no this past one but the one before). They had a great time. Bean went on a real-live pony for the first time and Bug spun the wheel at the 96.5 TIC FM booth and won a CD "I wanted you to have music daddy!" Both girls had fun as did I. A marvelous time. Afterwards, we went to see my folks and planned to get snowed in, yes it was that weekend. Lucky I was there because both girls ended up getting a stomach virus and threw-up all day long. I found out afterwards that A was stuck at home all alone with the same thing. We stuck it out 'till Monday morning when I finally got the kids home and I started feeling bad. I ended-up getting the flu and stayed home for three days while my body fought it off. Luckily though, but the weekend I felt great and was able to go out and party (so to speak). So I'm back mostly, just haven't had the time to sit down and write or read. I need a new plan or something! So much to say, so many things going through my head. What to tell, what not, what's appropriate, what should remain hidden. Sheesh! I have to stop arguing with myself. LOL

Comment Response to :(

why did i post this? - because i saw it on the web and it touched me. touched me as deep as it was suppose to. this shit happens, and happens all of the time. not just to kids, but that is where my mind is at, kids. those who can not defend themselves or run away or even ask for help. how can you ask for help when your world, your god is the one hurting you?

can we dwell on what's good in life? - of course we can and i do. but to ignore the bad does not help the situation. in fact most would say it causes just as much harm. to do nothing about it let's it grow and continue. i won't pretend to know what to do. i won't lie and say i volunteer. i'm not a great help in stopping the abuse. but the very least i can do is post this, and hopefully get people to think a little bit more. that there is a hidden world out there. hidden because we close our eyes to it.

~ Jeremy (my real name)

:(

My name is Sarah I am but three,
My eyes are swollen I cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad,
What else could have made my daddy so mad?

I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up all the day long.

When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark my folks aren't home
When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just one whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound! I just heard a car
My daddy is back from Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse my name he calls
I press myself against the wall

I try and hide from his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry
He finds me weeping he shouts ugly words,
He says it's my fault that he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me and yells at me more,
I finally get free and I run for the door.
He's already locked it and I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor with my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues with more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream but it's now much too late
His face has been twisted into unimaginable hate

The hurt and the pain again and again
Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops and heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless sprawled on the floor

My name is Sarah and I am but three,
Tonight my daddy murdered me.

Something to Ponder

(One of my coworkers emailed this to me today. Definitely something to ponder - enjoy!)

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else---the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. "Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Lame Joke

Went out to dinner the other day with the kids and the folks. Nothing too special, just Friendly's but the girls love it. They get to have ice-cream! At one point during the meal, this older gentleman came out of the bathroom (which we were a few tables away from). On the way back to his table, he stopped and turned to face our table. Perhaps he got dizzy or lost or something. Next thing I know it, he looks at us and starts to tell us a joke. Something about his mother being so short that you could see her feet in her driver's license photo. Very lame. I pretty much ignored him although my dad laughed politely. He walked away. WTF! What was up with that? I think maybe he got embarrassed because he happened to stop at our table and was trying to save face and embarrassment. Or maybe he was waiting all day just to tell that joke to someone. Sheesh!

Bean Time

I had an awesome Sunday with Bean. Bean has been bugging me for months now to take her to the park. Often it has been too cold, raining, snowing, or after dark (since I don't get home 'till 7pm). But yesterday, I agreed to take her on the way to pick up groceries. Bug didn't want to shop so she stayed home with A. Bean also wanted to play with my remote control truck so we brought that as well. We had a great time walking along the trails with Bean chasing the truck and choosing the direction to go. She got to play a little on the swing and slide as well. It felt great. Bug was a little jealous and upset when we got back but I promised to make it up to her and take only her next time. A told me Bug is getting a little jealous because I play more physically with Bean. But I don't do it on purpose or to exclude Bug. Bean is constantly at my side, leaning on my leg. Bug is super imaginative and can play with herself or with others and does. She gets caught up in her own world of games and has a great time. But Bean gets bored and comes to look for daddy. And she loves to be picked up and held. And she is such a tiny adorable thing that I can't help but hold her and swing her around. But I swear, I try to give the same time to Bug. In fact last night after putting Bean to bed, Bug and I wrestled and rolled around. So I just need to be conscious of my little one's feelings. Bug knows I love her more than anything in this world, but that doesn't mean she won't get jealous from time to time.

D&D Fear of Girls

Allright, so I obviously enjoy D&D and D&D related stuff like, Order of the Stick (which I got TLR hooked on), and good news reports, and of course funny songs. I have also seen a couple of great videos as well but can't find the links right now and I'm not sure if I have posted about them before. But here is a new funny D&D movie sent to me yesterday by a gaming buddy in TX (Lotus's husband)called, Fear of Girls. Enjoy!

Realistic Friendship Poem?

Friend of mine sent this to me today. Kinda silly, kinda dumb, but pretty funny in a "guy" sort of way.

Are you tired of those sissy-ass "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship:

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".


Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of 4. Remember.......A good friend will help you move.....a REALLY good friend will help you move a body.......let me know if you ever need me to bring a shovel.

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth

Crazy Weather

I feel like I'm in a Bill Murray movie, "well it's Groundhog Day... again.." except replace Groundhog Day with snowing! Yes, once again it's snowing! Luckily, I like snow, but damn-it they actually expect me to go to work! And my boss gets pissed when I tell her I am coming in late. No job is worth my life, no way. Today was probably worse than others cause she lives more south than me and the snow is less there. We are getting over 3 inches and the highway web cams are showing that the roads could use some more plowing. Arggg, I hate the attitude I hear in her voice.

On a better note Rudicus, TLR, Ack, Spriggy, and I got together on Saturday and played D&D. Yes, you heard it right, Dungeons & Dragons! For those that care, we played with the latest d20 V.3.5 rules system with some modified house rules concerning initiative and one particular armor item (thanxx Morgan!). For those who don't have a clue, D&D is a role playing game. It's like being in a play except there is no script and you don't really act things out (well, most people don't but a little bit is ok). The director describes the setting and the situation, and you decide what you want to do and how you want to handle things. Then the director tells you the reactions of your actions. This is that game that certain religious people portray as evil and satanic. Not that these people ever played the game, mind you. All they ever did was hear that there were demons and devils involved and they got freaked. Idiots, the demons and devils are the ultimate bad guys/monsters that the good guys are suppose to kill and triumph over. Arggg again!

Beyond the actual game playing, it was really just nice to be able to hang-out again with y old college buddies. Definitely brings back memories and I definitely miss it. Can't wait to play again!

Black Widow

Have you ever seen a black widow spider in real life? I have. It was in the garage of my house in Texas. It was beautiful! Small (petite), black (sexy sista), big bubba-butt (just like I like'em), hourglass shape... I MEAN DESIGN! Eloquent, sexy, deadly, mmmmm.....

Unfortunately I had to kill her. I couldn't take the chance of her biting any of the cats who also frequented the garage. But I did manage to snap a couple of pictures of that dark eight-legged goddess.

Lloth?

~

all's great in the world, snowed a lot this weekend, got to see the new animated movie, been super busy, be back soon - lol

Line

Line from a new book:

Ticked, I looked across the street to the Starbucks catering to uptown snits who needed sixty different ways to brew a bean in order to not be happy with any of them.

Next Day

Hey y'all. Thanxx for the great comments you left, I appreciate them all. Sorry I have not responded or reposted 'till now. This weekend was extremely busy (but in a very good sort of way) and now I am in Philly on a work trip. But to wrap things up (I think), I got ahold of S the next day. She was in good spirits as was I. I told her about the email (which she did not see yet) and she said ok. Meaning, it sounded like she was in agreement with my pay solution. I did not bring up the court thing or anything else. I did let her know again about the money she owes for Pre-K. So, at the moment, it looks like everything is ok. Of course, she could still take me to court. And part of me wants her too (the dark part of me that is).

Buzz, I appreciate your thoughts and have thought them myself multiple times. I do not think it is very likely and court would give me full custody or even primary custody unless I can prove her to be a crack head or something. However, I am going to start researching it. I also decided to put the girls on my insurance. Even if she does end up getting some with the new job. I don't want to take another chance of this happening again. Ok, tired now. g'nite!

Never Over

And I thought it was over. But the truth of the matter is, it is never over.

A couple of months ago, S quit her job. She said she was going to be fired because of a bad review and they were giving her the opportunity to quit. I know people at her job that are higher up the ladder than her and they say she would not have been fired. Either way, she stopped working there. According to our divorce agreement, S pays for the girl's medical insurance. Since she quit, she would have to pick up COBRA in order to continue or make arrangements with me. As time went by, S's mom mentioned to me that S and I should discuss the insurance. I replied that she is a big girl and would take care of it (my fucking mistake). She said she would get COBRA but guess what? She didn't! And one day while taking Bug to a counseling session, she got hit with a $500 bill. Because out divorce agreement says we will split medical bills 50/50 if we both agree on them, she expects me to pay half. However, I would have suggested stopping the counseling session if I knew the idiot wasn't going to continue her insurance obligations. I found out about this just before Xmas.

I contacted her last night to let her know that there was an invoice from Bean's Pre-K school. Apparently, S has not paid them her portion of the bill EVER! Her excuse was that they never sent her a bill - idiot. Just because you are not sent a bill does not mean you are not obligated to pay!!! We signed a contract with them. They even sent us documentation on how to setup direct payments from our banking accounts or credit cards. Since I planned on doing my own thing from my bank, I gave the information to S. She obviously ignored it. When we originally put Bean in the school, I spoke with them and explained that I pay 53% of the daycare while S pays 47%. I asked them if it was ok that we would be paying separately. They agreed and said they would create two separate accounts. I asked what would happen if she was late or did not pay. They said I would be fine and they would be going after her (guess I had a premonition huh? - easy when you have known someone so long and completely know and understand how irresponsible, ignorant, and selfish they can be). When I spoke with them this morning, they verified that my account was in perfect standing (I am almost never late with any payments anywhere, hell I was never in debt until I married a certain someone) but that she has never paid anything beyond the first month's portion. They admitted to never sending S a bill but also said they should not have to. We signed a contract with them. We are obligated to pay. They are now sending S an invoice directly to her home address. They are being very nice and also decided to waive any late fees for her. They also said that I have nothing to worry about. Since my account is in excellent standing and the situation is beyond my control and not my fault, Bean is all set and they would never remove her from the class.

So when I contacted her last night to tell her about the invoice, she brought up the $250 amount again. I again replied that it was her responsibility. She again said that her old job never sent her paper work on COBRA (get a fucking life and grow-up! where the hell are your responsibilities!!!!!!!!!). And besides, COBRA would cost more than the medical bills. Really now, how does she know this??? (actually - more than likely she is right). So she threatened to take me back to court because with her new job, she took a $6k pay-cut. In court, she would ask for an increase in my child care payments. I told her to go ahead and take me because it doesn't work that way. It's not how much you make, but your income potential. And she quit her job! Finally I told her, "I'm sorry that you weren't responsible enough to take care of the insurance" and then she hung up on me.

After calming down and talking to a couple of friends, I decided to compromise and pay her. Fuck it, the stress even from this phone call with her is not worth $250.00. But my main reason for not wanting to pay was not the money. If I pay once, will she keep laying her problems on me and expect me to take care of her fuck-ups?

But anyways, I decided to compromise and pay her. I called her back and started leaving a message - and the phone stopped recording giving me some message that it couldn't continue. I called again saying that I got cut off. The phone stops again, same message, except this time much faster. The immature shit was hanging up on me - LOL. So I sent a very professional email to her letting her now that I would subtract the $250 from the amount she owed me (her share of next year's Pre-K deposit) and that we can figure out the remaining. I then asked her if she would like to use my medical insurance and split the amount with me. No response as of yet. Now I just need to decide if I can afford the medical insurance and do it anyways. I have until Monday.

Side-note: during the divorce proceedings, I offered that we use whoever had the less expensive insurance and just split the cost (pro-active thinking for future possibilities). She declined. Why? Because if she pays the insurance, then her take-home amount is less. Therefore, my child support would be more. Smart huh?

I Love My Bug!

I've been missing my kids lately. I haven't seen them since Friday morning and I won't have them this weekend either. Also, this morning at work was pretty stressful. Somehow, A must have picked up on my psychic vibe because she sent me an IM telling me what Bug did this morning:

A: Hi are you there?
A: have a happy for you
A: Bug found your grey sweatshirt
A: she asked if it was yours
A: I said yes, she said
A: I thought so it smells like daddy....and she had this sweet smile on her face and snuggled into the couch with it like her blanket

: )

Back from the Holidays

hello, hello? are we live? is this thing on?

Welcome back friends! Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. Did Santa bring you everything you wanted? I had a great time. Lots of fun with family and many late nights with new friends. For New Years, I traversed the snow and terrible roads down to Mohegan Sun to see Maroon 5 in concert (pix are coming). It was a good show and an even better time with some new friends.

And I finally got some more Santa pix! I'm so excited! Santa and his elf:

Happy New Year

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!

2006

woooo hooooo!

BK Xmas

Graphic Novel Xmas Present

For the comic-book fans out there, A got me a new graphic novel for Christmas called Identity Crisis. As quoted in a New Haven newspaper, "Brad Meltzer gave us an unraveling of the Justice League of America form within, with the murder of the spouse of a beloved lesser member of the team. The he revealed how horrifying it can be when a group of superheroes decides to make its own rules. And he did this in the context of a murder mystery..." The book was quite good and I would recommend it to all. Not quite good enough to make my top list or anything, but definitely a good read. And the mystery kept me guessing until the end. So if you like comics, you may want to check this one out.

Love Xmas

Lotus sent me this cute song. Click play to start once it loads up. You can click on the title of this post to get to the web site where this was found.



Did I mention the new tradition with the Hershey Kiss Xmas tree? Started that last year. I was in CVS or one of the other drugstores and they had a piece of paper explaining how to do it next to bags of kisses and a stirophone cone. It was pretty easy and cute. The girls loved it. This year we are adding in a gingerbread house to the tradition. A worked on both with the girls. Hope everyone had a great Xmas!

MERRY XMAS!

MERRY XMAS!

To ONE and ALL

Santa Claus by Me

So this past Sunday I had the honor of being Santa Claus for an event held at the Children's Medical Center in Hartford CT. I was even accompanied by my very own elf! A came with me and had pointy ears! The kids kept asking her if they were real.

I bought an inexpensive beard and wig set (lucked out at the price) but only used the wig (nice and long). The beard I used from another Santa set because I could not find the really good type I was looking for. In fact, I would suggest to never shop at Connecticut Stage & Movie Supply in Plainville, CT. When I went there to look for a good beard, I had the rudest most condescending sales person I ever spoke with. I'm still a little ticked about it. I almost wrote them to complain but I have a feeling this B* is one of the owners. I did end up buying a "belly" from them though (it's like a big vest with a large pocket that you put stuffing in).

When I walked into the room and gave my loudest and jolliest Ho-Ho-Ho, the kids screamed, smiled, and jumped for joy. Six or seven of them ran straight to me to say hi and hold my hands. I kneeled down to talk to them and two of the little darlings threw themselves into my arms to give me a hug, followed by two more shortly after. It was a great time, a magical time. I'll never, ever forget it. And more than likely, if the sponsors offer again, I will be Santa Claus next year as well.

Enjoy the pix! I'll see if I can get one of my elf as well : -)

'Twas Sad

(got this from a friend)
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
With no thought of the dog filling their head.
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Knew he was cold, but didn't care about that.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Figuring the dog was free and into the trash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of midday to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Santa Claus - his eyes full of tears.
He unchained the dog, once so lively and quick,
Last years Christmas present, now thin and sick.
More rapid than eagles he called the dog's name.
And the dog ran to him, despite all his pain;
"Now, DASHER! Now, DANCER! Now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, COMET! On CUPID! On, DONNER and BLITZEN!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Let's find this dog a home where he'll be loved by all"
I knew in an instant there would be no gifts this year,
For Santa Claus had made one thing quite clear,
The gift of a dog is not just for the season,
We had gotten the pup for all the wrong reasons.
In our haste to think of giving the kids a gift
There was one important thing that we missed.
A dog should be family, and cared for the same
You don't give a gift, then put it on a chain.
And I heard him exclaim as he rode out of sight,
"You weren't given a gift! You were given a life!"
Author Unknown

Coats & Scarves

It's beginning to look a lot like Xmas!

This post is weeks old as are most of my posts (in my head for awhile but first time written down today). Now that it is wicked cold, it is back to my piano scarf and long dark overcoat. That thing is damn sexy! I always wanted a nice overcoat and finally got one about 2 years ago mainly to wear over a suit for when I go on interviews during cold days. But now I wear it as my main winter jacket. Besides looking sexy as already mentioned, it keep my little but warm. Unfortunately though, I now know how women feel who wear skirts. What a pain in the ass to have to do the hand-butt scoop when sitting down. Ladies, you know what I am talking about. Just before you sit down, you have to put your hand on your upper back and slowly/smoothly slide it over your ass and down to the back of your thighs as you sit in order to straighten out your skirt (or in my case long coat) so that it doesn't bunch up and feel uncomfortable. And if you are perverted like me, you do it real slow and add a little grabbing and rubbing to the motion (just kidding).

During the Thanksgiving weekend (told u this post was old), I had someone at the mall compliment me on my scarf (I secretly (well not so secretly) love this). Three seconds later I had someone compliment me on the coat - yay!!!!. Q also happens to really like both and from her, I truly take the compliment since she is in the fashion industry. heehee

Ok, this post is not going anywhere so best to end it now. Have a good night!
: )

12 Pains of Christmas

Shamefully stolen from http://lightoflove.net/12PainsOfCmas.htm

The first thing at Christmas,
That's such a pain to me:
Is finding a Christmas tree.

The second thing at Christmas,
That's such a pain to me:
Rigging up the lights.
And finding a Christmas tree.

The third thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me:
Hangovers.
Rigging up the lights.
And finding a Christmas tree.

The fourth thing at Christmas,
That's such a pain to me:
Sending Christmas cards.
Hangovers.
Rigging up the lights.
And finding a Christmas tree.

The fifth thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me:
Five month of bills!
Sending Christmas cards.
Hangovers.
Rigging up the lights.
And finding a Christmas tree.

The sixth thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me:
Facing my in-laws.
Five months of bills.
Oh, I hate those Christmas cards.
Hangovers.
Rigging up these lights.
And finding a Christmas tree.

The seventh thing a Christmas,
that's such a pain to me:
The Salvation Army.
Facing my in-laws.
Five months of bills!
Sending Christmas cards.
Ohhh geeez.
I'm tryin to rig up these lights!
And finding a Christmas tree.

The eighth thing at Christmas,
that's such a pain to me:
I want a transformer for Christmas.
Charities, and what do you mean YOUR in-laws?!
Five months of bills.
Ughh, makin' up these cards.
oh, Edith get me a beer huh?
What we have no extension cords?!
And finding a Christmas tree.

The ninth thing at Christmas
that's such a pain to me:
Finding parking spaces,
Daddy, I want some candy!
Donations!
Facing my in-laws.
Five months of bills.
Writing out those Christmas cards.
Hangovers.
Now why the hell are they blinking?!
And finding a Christmas tree.

The tenth thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me:
Batteries not included.
No parking spaces.
Buy me something!
Get a job you bum!
Facing my in-laws.
Five months of bills.
Yo-ho sending Christmas cards.
Oh-geez look at this.
One light goes out, they all go out!
And finding a Christmas tree.

The eleventh thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me:
Stale T.V. specials.
Batteries not included.
No parking spaces
Mom, I gotta go bathroom!
Charities!
She's a witch, I hate her.
Five months of bills.
Oh, I don't even know half these people!
Oh, who has the toilet paper, huh?
Turn on a flashlight, I blew a fuse!
And finding a Christmas tree.

The twelfth thing at Christmas
that's such a pain to me:
Singing Christmas carols.
Stale T.V. specials.
Batteries not included.
No parking!
WAHH (crying)
Charities.
Gotta make 'em dinner.
Five months of bills.
I'm not sending 'em this year, that's it!
Shut up, you!
Fine, you're so smart! You rig up the lights!
And finding a Christmas tree.

Xmas Traditions

1) The Santa Claus: Every year after Thanksgiving (sometimes I wait 'till midnight to officially be the next day) I watch this movie. I love it and it has become a serious tradition. Maybe next year I'll take the next day of the Thanksgiving weekend and watch The Santa Claus 2. Not nearly as good but still cute. The girls love watching the first one and looking for the elves throughout the movie.

2) Ringing up the Lights: Every year I try, and fail, to put up the outdoor lights on Thanksgiving weekend. Maybe next year! (I finally got them up this weekend)

3) 10 Days Before Xmas: My family started this when I was younger. If I recall, it is a made-up combination of the 12 days of Xmas as well as Hanukkah (however you spell it) and/or other traditions. I'll send my dad an email for more info. Basically, 10 days before Xmas, the kids in the family place one shoe outside of their bedroom door before they go to bed (Bug tired doing two shoes one night last year). In the night, one of Santa's elf leaves a small present. My folks have over the past few years changed the shoe for a stocking that hangs from the door. I still use the shoe.

4) Advent Calendar: S used to do this and so does A. As such, it has become a Zel family tradition. In the past, we have used calendars that had little chocolates inside. A few years ago we used a Lego calendar. This year, A and the girls have created a large paper tree that hangs on our closet door. They then created paper ornaments that are put up by the girls every morning.

5) Trim-A-Tree Get-Together: Every year in TX, we held an annual Xmas party (I fast discovered though that if I called it a party I had less people show-up than if I called it a get-together). We'd get a tree (which of course is also a tradition), put it in the stand and just ring up lights. We would then have friends over for our annual get-together and have each person put up one (or more) ornament(s) on our tree.

6) Food Stuff: Specifically for the party, I always had S make Rice Krispy Treats, preferably the ones with the red and green pieces. She would make two batches, one for the guests and one just for me! And yes I would swallow them down as the night progressed. The other item was a tradition from S's that I am adopting. M&M's and peanuts. She takes a bowl and mixes in plain red and green M&M's with salted peanuts. The mixture (although it may sounds weird) is very delicious. I have had other friends use it now at their parties as well.

7) White Elephant: At these annual get togethers (which I have not had in 2 years now (very sad)), I request everyone to bring a present that they have received in the past but hated! If they do not have one, I suggest a $5.00 or so small item. We then put numbers in a hat, draw them out, choose presents, steal presents, etc... Rules seem to change every year.

8) Night Before Christmas: Finally, on the night before Xmas, I recite this story to my girls before tucking them in to bed.

I'm sure I have more traditions than this (I know I originally thought of at least 6 more in the car) but that's it for now. So how about you? Any unique or different traditions you would like to share?

Winter Wonderland

It's not just snowing it's SNOWING! It's a glorified Winter Wonderland!!!
I'm snowed in at home but am still working - damn hi-speed internet connections ;)
What a beautiful sight.... just need a fire and a lover beside me... *sigh*

picture taken from my opened bedroom window

The Cradle

(slight disclaimer - I did not write this with the intention of hurting her feelings. as such, I hope she does not read it)

(this was written yesterday)
Back when DeBee and I were dating, she presented my sister with a gift when my nephew was born. The gift was the use of a cradle. It is an incredibly beautiful wooden cradle that was hand-made for DeBee. She decided to let my sister use it for as long as she needed it. She did this without my knowledge or input. I only found out afterwards when it was dropped at my house (closer) for my sister to pick up. At the time I thought she did this to be genuinely nice. Now I think she did it to perhaps make herself look good or to get in with my family (by the way, that's not how you get in with Italians).

Exactly a week ago, DeBee sent me an email entitled "I need..." (a lot of things entered my mind). The body of it said "the cradle ... I have offered it to another friend. Can you please find to drop it off to me as soon as possible. DeBee". So much for my sister's use of it. It's not like the baby grew out of it already. When we broke up, I gave my sister all of DeBee's info (email, address, and phone) as well as contacted DeBee to assure her that the cradle would go back to her no matter if her and I remained friends. Needless to say, I was a little upset by the email. Why should I have to get in the middle of this when this was something she did entirely on her own. Although I did not respond, I forwarded the email to my sister.

The week goes by and DeBee sends me another email Sat night with the subject "can you please..." and the body "let your sister know to just leave the cradle on my screened in porch--when it is convenient for her (but as soon as she can)--I am not home much these days to make a time that works for all of us. Thanks, DeBee". I did not know it at the time but I found out today that my sister called her at least twice over the weekend to make arrangements. Instead of dealing directly with my sister, she emailed me instead. Why? I forwarded the email to my sister on Monday(?) I believe. I also replied to DeBee letting her know. What I really wanted to say was how dare you get me involved with something I had nothing to do with... and... it's incredibly poor taste on your part to go back on a gift you gave (meaning the usage of the cradle, not the cradle in itself). I was upset enough that I went to her house last night and dropped off a couple of items of hers that I had in my car (waiting for the day I would be in her neighborhood). Just a couple of CD's and misc. stuff. I left a voice message telling her I left it on the porch and wished her a Merry Christmas. I spoke with my sister this afternoon and it turns out she just dropped off the cradle today(too funny on the timing)! When I informed my sister and then found out about the phone calls she left, she said why didn't she just call me back and deal with me directly?

It has been suggested that DeBee is just trying to contact me and/or stay involved in my life. But if this is true, why this way? I already suggested trying to be friends and she agreed at one point. Although every time I would chat or email with her, she would purposely try to upset me. It wasn't working and I got tired of the attempts and deleted her from my IM. Not block, just deleted so that there is no temptation to contact her. I will respond though, like I said, I would like to be friends. She is a fascinating person but still......

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May I Kiss You?

At the end of your date, how do you know whether you should try for a kiss or not? This can be such an awkward moment, especially if you read the signals wrong... and then you lean towards her... and she leans away... (lol). I'm good at body language, very good in fact. Some of it is natural talent, other is from schooling (Communication and Psychology). But even with all of that, one can still be wrong. And I hate to be wrong. So, I ask.

That's what I did Saturday night. I had a great date with a woman I met on a Single Parent's dating site. There are not a lot of people on those site's but the ones there are in very similar situations as myself. Thus, great choices for dates. This particular lady, Q and I have been email'ing, IM'ing and the occasional phone call for a couple of months. She lives in Long Island, NY and I'm in South Windsor, CT. Talk about distance. So why did I contact her? Well, there was a mistake on her profile (probably fat-fingered zip-code) that showed her as being 20-30 min east of me. So we started talking and getting to know each other. When it was time to suggest a meeting, that's when we discovered the big difference - 125 miles west of me.

But we continued to talk and try to plan a first meeting. With the holidays coming and her extremely busy schedule (single mom, full custody, owns her own PR firm), we finally found time this past Sat night, and boy was it poorly planned - lol. We decided to meet in Danbury, a town neither of us knows very well but a good midway point. We further decide to meet at Ruby Tuesday's (the apparent place of many of my first dates) at the Danbury Mall (yes was my poor suggestion cause I knew the mall had one). We would meet there and then decided what to do, where to go. So I get there and am driving around and guess what, I can't find the restaurant. At every other mall, it is in the front and you can clearly see the entrance. But not this mall. Turns out it was in back where the parking garage is, therefore hard to see. We talk on the phone, discover we are in the same parking area, and we run through the freezing cold weather to meet inside. I go in upstairs, she goes in downstairs. We talk again on the phone and I proceed down stairs to meet her in Pizzeria Uno. Wow, what a knock-out - even more beautiful than her pictures. Uno has a long wait and it's noisy so we decide to walk around a little and talk while trying to figure out what to do. I mention seeing a Barnes and Nobles near by but not sure how to get there. We walk some more wind up at the food court.

The food court! I can't believe I am bringing a woman, on the first date, to a food court at a mall. And this woman in particular who travels in circles a little higher than mine (ok, a lot higher - fashion industry in NY). So I mention again, maybe we should try the Barnes and Nobles - somewhere quieter where we can have coffee and talk. She agrees, we head for the door, I run out and get the car for her (freezing cold and she actually had to drive 137 miles to meet me after dropping off her kids at her parents - least I could do is get the car). We arrive and guess what? This Barnes and Nobles does not have a coffee shop. Argghhhhh!!!!. So we head to Olive Garden. Unfortunately, there is an hour wait and the bar is packed. Out of frustration and serious lack of patience on my part, we head back to the mall, find Ruby Tuesday's, and hang out at that bar instead. Finally, a place to sit, hot coffee and good conversation. Phew....

So even though the date started off poorly planned, a little ruff, and a couple of obstacles and a lot of embarrassment on my part, it turned out just fine. Better than fine actually, Q is pretty awesome. When it was time to go, I drove her to her car and suggested she start it and hang out in my car while it warms up. She agrees. We chat a little more and I ask if I may kiss her. She says yes, then says no one has ever asked her that before. It was a great kiss.

So back to my original question, have you ever asked a date if you could kiss them? Or have you ever been asked?